What? How? When? Ten Years?
It always amazed me to see that I constantly change my
answer to the question of where do I see myself in ten
years. I will be in the mid thirties in ten years
from now, and by then I will probably be more
grounded. As always, my answer is depended on whom I
hang out with at the moment as well as leisure
activities I am engaging in. Sometimes I see myself
in my favorite movies characters such as babe from the
movie “pig in the city,” or a part-time working wife
as in “Stepmom”. Other times I see myself in an image
of the lady who did the advertisement for Christian
Children Charity encouraging people to donate money
for the poor. I can see myself in many forms and
shapes of life; however, many of them are just my
imagination. Beyond all that imagination, I often
see myself as a productive individual in the society
as a red-cross nurse, a divorce woman with no
children, and/or a widow living with my chronically
ill mother.
Becoming a productive member in our society is my
dream. I like to work as a nurse to make positive
differences in people’s lives. To me, nursing is a
very important role in our society because it serves
people in both physical and emotional when they are
most in need of care and attention. I see myself
through helping others. And in helping others to
achieve their maximum level of function, I find
happiness. I realize that there are still many
unfortunate people, especially those who live in the
third world countries, suffering from illnesses. I
keep on telling myself to do something to get close to
those people who are in uncomfortable stage of living.
And the only way for me to do it is to work my way to
become an experienced nurse. Thanks God, I am
becoming a license nurse in no more than a month. I
feel that my dream is half way fulfilled. I now deal
with more and more sick people, and the amazing thing
about it is I never get bore taking care for them over
and over again. Moreover, I even feel worthy when all
that I do is referring a patient to a health clinic
that can help with her particular needs. Everything
else regarding my imagination or my dream may changed
over time, but the self urge to help the sick won’t
ever be changed even in ten or twenty years from now.
To be more helpful to the society, I need to continue
my education to become an expert in nursing. I
realize that the most effective way to get close to
the sick is to work, work, and work as a nurse. I
then would like to joint the Red-Cross team so I would
have more of the opportunity to reach to those far
away in the third world countries. It will be
challenging for I, on the other hands, want to settle
down with a family.
Most girls at my age want to get married, have kids,
and have a happy family. I am no different. However,
I don’t think that I can maintain a family for long.
The eager to become a working woman is way stronger
than a dedicated mother and wife. I don’t want to get
marry, and then stay home clean up after my husband,
and give birth to as many children as my husband
prefers. I want to work away from home, and
contribute my life to the society in general, and to
the poor as well as sick people in particular. Hence,
family would then be a burden if I marry someone who
is not in support of my dreams. Indeed, I doubt that
I can find a man who can be so generous to let me do
all the things that I dream of doing. It does not
sound so promising, but I think in ten years I will
end up filing a divorce document if I have ever
married. So, why can’t I just be a widow after all?
It is very likely that I will become a widow, though.
In my culture we are very superstitious. I was born
in the year of the tiger, and like many other people I
know including my mother who were also born in the
year of the tiger, all became widows or at least get
divorce once. Personally, I do not believe in
superstition, but I can’t deny the fact that it is
effecting on my mother. She has been up and down in
many relationships, and at the end, she ends up with a
divorce. She now is living with me with her chronic
disease of hypertension and diabetes. Another reason
for me to see myself as a widow is that I do not know
if I can ever find a man who love me. I have learned
that there are no men, but all boys out there. I keep
on asking is there a man out there willing to go along
with me and my dreams?Still, there has been no answer.
Anyhow, I prefer to live my fullest life, fulfil my
dreams, and stay single to take care for my mother,
who will be in need for a lot of medical attentions in
ten years from now.
Those are not my imagination, but my dreams. I dream
of become a Red-Cross nurse who will travel to many
different poor countries to bring cures and health to
people devastated by illnesses. I see myself in a
broken family, yet I rise up and continue to work for
my dreams and for the society. I also see myself as a
big help for my mother as well as other mothers who
are lonely and are suffering as they go through their
aging process. All that I see now will be so for the
next ten years? so, I hope.
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