Language Defines Gender Essay, Research Paper
How do men and women communicate clearly
when most of their ways of communicating are so different? In today’s society
language plays a key role in defining gender by phraseology, vocabulary,
and also their nonverbal vocabulary. Each one of these different types
of ways of communicating is prominently different between men and women.
Webster’s defines phraseology as “a choice
and pattern of words.” Many studies have been done on the differences between
men and women’s phraseology. It has been noted in many different studies
that men tend to talk much more than women do. This was proven true in
a study that Lynette Hirshman did in 1974 (Glass 33). It has also been
proven that women tend to speak faster than men; this is due to the fact
that women tend to be interrupted more often than men are, and also have
the ability to speak more clearly, precisely, and more quickly than men
can. In one study it was found that women spoke for an average of three
minutes describing a painting, as opposed to the thirteen-minute average
it took men to describe it. (Glass 33) Women tend to be more detailed when
describing events, persons, places or things. Linguist Robin Lakoff states
in her book, Language and Woman’s Place, women use greater description
when describing colors. (Glass 31) Women notice more detail than men causing
women to be more perceptive; they notice things such as tone of voice,
facial expression, and body language. Being able to pick up on those three
types of communicating helps women better understand what is actually being
said in a conversation.
Men and women’s styles of communicating
are close to being directly opposites of one another. Men tend to be louder
more aggressive speakers; they mumble many of their words and tend to be
sloppy in their pronunciation of words. Men tend to use loudness when emphasizing
words instead of inflection and pitch to emphasize points. According to
Webster’s, inflection is “a change in the tone of the voice,” or “the change
of form in a word to indicate number, case, tense, etc.” (Glass 51) Women
tend to use pitch and inflection more so than men do. Men have a tendency
to speak in a lower tone and rarely change from that tone to any others.
Women on the other hand speak in five different tones, which makes them
sound more emotional. (Glass 50) Women also speak more fluidly, which makes
them easier to listen to, where men use choppier more fragmented sentences.
Women are more soft spoken than men are, which allows men to monopolize
most conversations. (Glass 51) Men are much less verbose and they are more
direct in getting their point across. Women tend to “beat around the bush”
when getting a point across; this causes men to become very agitated while
listening to a woman tell a story. Men talk much slower than women do and
are more silent during conversational lulls. (Glass 52) Men also have a
tendency to make more direct accusations and statements. (Glass 51) Men
also answer questions with declaration, (”It’s two o’clock.”), where as
women answer with a question. Men are more commanding in their style of
speech, however women ask for things to be done in a more polite manner
and usually in terms of endearment, (”Honey, would you please…”). (Glass
53) Men also make more declarative statements, instead women tend to make
more tentative statements and use ” tag endings”. (Glass 53) Women would
say, “Would you like to go to the beach today, but we don’t have to.” A
man on the other hand would say, “We’re goin’ to the beach today.” This
sentence also shows that men have poor grammar, as opposed to women generally
have good grammar. (Glass 53) Men also use one-word answers, rarely use
conjunctions, and hardly ever use adjectives of adoration. Women tend to
have lengthy responses, long sentences that are adjoined with words like
“and”, “but”, “however”, etc., and always use adjectives of adoration such
as “cute”, “adorable”, and “sweet”, etc. Men use more foul language, slang,
and make simpler, more understandable requests, but women do all of these
things exactly the opposite. Men, as most people know, lecture and have
use more of a monologue, where as women have more of a give-and-take dialogue.
(Glass 55)
Men and women also tend to have a very
different nonverbal way of communicating, which can also make it very hard
for one another to understand what the opposite sex is trying to say. Men’s
body language is much more reserved when talking to women. Men tend to
not make as much eye contact; they generally stay farther away from women
when talking to them. Men avoid other peoples body space while talking,
they also tend to recline or sit back when talking, and they are much more
fidgety while listening to someone else. These traits that men have give
off the impression of disinterest or boredom. Women are completely the
opposite, which gives others the feeling that the female listener is much
more interested in what the speaker has to say. Women rarely interrupt
someone while speaking, but as for men they interrupt the speaker quite
frequently. Men rarely pick up on others nonverbal cues. Men give off false
cues of their own or are not as consistent with the nonverbal cues they
try to give off. (Glass 46) Men, even when interested tend to frown and
squint while listening which gives off a feeling of disinterest, where
as women smile and nod as if they are paying attention to every word that
is being said to them. (Glass 49)
It is true men and women are quite different
in their ways of communicating. Men are definitely much harder to understand
in all of their styles of communication. From mumbling to short snappy
answers and poor eye contact to constant interruptions, makes communicating
with men much more difficult than anticipated by most. Women are by far
better listeners and much more enjoyable to talk with. Women give off the
impression they are interested in what is being said to them, maintain
good eye contact, and speak with more inflection and in nice soft tones.
They are more descriptive in their explanations, their sentences flow together
smoothly, and they tend to raise more topics for conversation. Women also
make it more clear whether or not the conversation is going somewhere or
just stuck in neutral. After learning about our styles of communicating
with each other, I have decided that although men have not quite mastered
communicating, what fun would it be if we all spoke the same “language”.
The little games men and women play with each other while conversing would
be lost. The question everyone asks himself or herself after talking with
someone of the opposite sex, ” I wonder if there’s something there?” would
cease to exist.