The Only Man I Have Ever Loved

Essay, Research Paper

Life is a made up of a collection of moments. Some people say that one must learn from obstacles that everyone struggles with. Some people say that every challenge helps to achieve stregth of character and self-growth. Ever since I remember, the most significant change in my life was the loss of my father. Even though it was a very hurtful experience, it helped me to know myself better as a person, realize that I can realize on myself and understand what an inspiration my father was and still is to me.

First of all, everything was special and different when my dad was alive. Since he was the one who maintained the family economically, there was nothing to discuss about when he had made a decision. For instance, when I was a teenager, my dad always wanted me to join the art group at school, which was noticeably unpopular among the students at my high school. Since I would do anything to keep my dad happy, I decided to join the art group in spite of my dislike of drawing. At that time I had the idea that I didn’t know what I was going to do with my future. I was suppose to go to engineering school just because dad said so. As time evolved, I recognized that I wasn’t going to be satisfied working in a field that didn’t seem interesting to me. When my father died, I understood that I was the one responsible for building my future, and that was when I actually started to work on what I really enjoy doing: science. By working in that area, I felt more comfortable, I found a part of my personality which was mostly humanitarian. I discovered that I could really know myself better when I had the opportunity to do whatever I felt more capable of doing.

Second of all, the death of my father has helped me to understand that I am a self-reliant person. Althoug I felt lost for a while when I was told my dad had passed away, I found out that I was capable of doing anything I wanted as long as I persisted in doing it. For example, when I first came to the United States I came here by myself. My first step was to sign up for ESL classes, so that I could learn some English and then find a job to support myself. The task was difficult. I had never worked in my life. I had always been very spoiled and everything was provided for me. I just needed to ask to receive what I wanted. During Christmas, I obtained a job in a small clothing store that has now gone out of business. I used to go to school four hours a day during the week and work eight hours right after school. I had never been through such a sacrificing routine. Anyway, when I received my first paycheck, I felt so proud of myself because I earned it. I know that my father would have felt the same way if he had been here. By earning a salary, I recognized that I could depend on myself rather than on my dad or my family. Even though it was difficult at the beginning, it was a valuable lesson that taught me how to become an active member of society and made every challenge I went through worthwhile.

In addition, I learned many new skills at my workplace besides cashiering. I had the opportunity to interact with different people from different cultural backgrounds, which was a unique experience. By working with and getting to know each of these people with different mentalities and personalities, I enriched myself. Now I believe I have become more open-minded than I used to be before I had to experience the terrible loss of my father. Also, I became more sensitive to others. I know how it feels to lose a father when I was only seventeen. It was and still is devastating. That’s why whenever I see anybody going through any difficulty I don’t hesitate to ask if a I can help. That’s the example I receive from my father who never refused to help others.

Finally, the death of my father helped me to value his hard work. Ever since I remember, my father had always been a hard working person. He used to work hard in order to have more to offer to his family. In spite of his advanced age, he never stopped working. In addition, he would buy me anything I asked him for. That was his way to show me love. Now that he isn’t here anymore, I really miss his attention and his love. I now value all of his sacrifices, I now undertand that a person doesn’t immigrate to the United States just for the fun of it. At first, I thought that my father had left because he didn’t want to be with us anymore. I had even felt some resentment since I thought he was being selfish in his search for a better life. Now that I have faced some of the difficulties that my dad did when he came here, I feel ashamed of my way of thinking. If he left his family, it was because he cared and he wanted us to have a better education and a better life. I now understand the importance of my father better. I am thankful that I had such a worthy man as a father.

Moreover, he was a kind person. He wouldn’t hesitate to lend a hand to anybody who needed it. That’s the man he was, and that’s why I loved and admired him so much. He was and always will be my inspiration.

In conclusion, my dad represented a prominent part of my life since he was my example to follow. Even though the loss of my father was a horrible experience of pain and suffering, it has helped me to understand both my dad and myself better.