MY DESEASE A THIEF OF MY DREAMS

Essay, Research Paper

Life has more imaginations than we carry in our dreams. It’s full of incredible

events and unexpected surprises that change our moods. And sometimes they can

even shock us. After that we feel frustrated, tired of living in the world which

only yesterday didn’t seem to be savage, in the world full of fuss and problems.

Once I changed my attitude to everything, I saw the world differently and liked

my life. It happened when I became seriously ill and was afraid of bad

consequences. The fear of death changed the way I see, taste, hear, smell, or

even think. When the severe pain frustrated me, I couldn’t sleep some nights.

Then I thought a lot about life, about what would happen if I changed the

worlds.

Now let me tell you how it happened in detail.

It was a usual shiny day when the city football championship began. We had to

play one of the first matches. I was in the high school’s football team and I

worried a lot because I had never played such an important game when a lot of

people watched it. This game meant everything to me because I always was

interested in football. That’s why I didn’t want to play the first period.

However I was very angry with myself because some guys didn’t play well enough

and I thought I would do much better if I were in their place. And at last, the

first forty-five minutes finished and I replaced one guy who couldn’t play well.

It seemed he couldn’t do it because he was scared that he would make a serious

mistake and worried as well as I did since almost a thousand people watched the

game. When the second period of the game started, my heart began to beat fast

and I felt something strange deep inside that forced me to make a wrong pass.

During those forty-five minutes I ran like a wild animal. However in the end of

the game I felt a severe pain in the right side of my stomach. It was the

beginning of the trouble, which lasted for about half a year.

When I went to hospital, the doctor said that the problem was the gall bladder

and the liver. He added that any sport and hard work was dangerous and told me

not to eat fatty products. Besides, he said that I had better take one course of

treatment in the hospital that would last about three weeks. But I immediately

ignored his advice because I didn’t want to miss the classes that were very

important since it was my final year at the lyceum.

After that I felt myself as if my hands were tied or like a bird in the cage. I

wanted to do what I did before; I wanted to fly and enjoy the life without any

limitations in my actions. I wanted to jump, run, and sweat, but for that

terrible illness which paralyzed my actions I couldn’t play football.

At that hard time I understood the value of healthy life, of being fit and

athletic. When I watched a football match on TV or passed by a place where boys

played football or other sport I felt pity because it reminded me the days I was

happy and enjoyed the game. I had a great desire to kick that football and

sometimes I couldn’t suffer it any more and played my favorite game, but

couldn’t get the real satisfaction. I was very sorry for myself then.

Even though I swallowed lots of pills, which weren’t very tasty, and tried out

many ways other people recommended, and although I was on diet it, didn’t make

me feel better. My illness became a global problem for me because it hurt badly

when I did something. I was ready to starve the whole week and not to eat food

which contained fat. Moreover, I lost my weight and became weak. That’s why I

easily got tired. However, the most terrible thing was that I had to reject my

favorite meals that I missed for a long time.

When I was doing my home assignment, I couldn’t concentrate on it. It made me

feel more terrible. I spent more time on doing it than I usually did. Since it

was my last year at the lyceum, I had to study very hard and prepare for final

exams, for the competition in mathematics, and for university at the same time.

That’s why sometimes I was completely exhausted and tired of studying.

Not only did my illness injure me physically but it also hurt my inner world. It

changed me; I became depressed, frustrated and angry. Probably it’s the reason I

seemed to behave rudely; most of my friends thought I was selfish and didn’t

care.

Sometimes it hurt very badly and I didn’t know how to kill my pain. I wanted to

forget about it by doing something interesting. It worked very often and at that

moment fear made me silly. It seemed to me that something terrible would happen.

I was very afraid, especially, when I was alone. Then I thought about life,

about my future, my family, my friends, etc., and everything got mixed up in my

head in a very complex way. I thought about life without me, about what would

happen if I died. Then I understood the value of living, being healthy, and that

the life was beautiful. I looked differently at the surrounding world, and I saw

many wonderful things that I didn’t notice before.

When I recovered from that disease, the robber of my happiness of being fit and

living a healthy life, I felt like a free bird that escaped from a cage or like

a winner of a long and tiring run. My life became more enjoyable, and I realized

that everything changed. I didn’t feel “trapped” by the thief of my dreams any

more. Lots of my problems were solved as if I gained extra power. Everything

returned to its usual place.

Although my illness lasted for six months, I discovered a lot of important

things which make life more interesting. I understood the value of health, of

being fit and that life is beautiful even though sometimes we face obstacles on

our way to happiness that might seem almost insurmountable. That’s why I think

we must be tolerant and optimistic to make our life more enjoyable when we

confront difficulties.