Tifa Mac The Pimpstress

? & Kali ?The Sabertooth Kitty? Essay, Research Paper

Tifa Mac ?The Pimpstress? & Kali ?The Sabertooth Kitty? PROFILE Real Name: Amy McIntire Kali the CatOccupation: Fabric Store Clerk House CatPlace of Birth: South Side L.A. AmazonParents: Deceased Lion King & Simba Group Affiliations: P.M.S (Pretty Mean Sisters) P.M.SBase of Operations Mac?s Fabrix Mac?s Fabrix SUPER POWERS Tifa Mac ?The Pimpstress? Kali ?The Sabretooth Kitty? Super Human Strength: Enormous strength- attained from carrying bolts of fabric all day. Claw of Death: Powerful paws that sink poison into anything that it comes in contact with.Yard Stick: Turns into a bolt of fabric with sewing needles sticking out of them. Hiss of Terror: Deafens anyone within a mile.The Evil Spools: Spools of thread that turn into grenades when thrown. Moon Leap: Enables her to jump over any building in a single bound.Da Big Gun: A huge bolt of fabric that emits a blast of concentrated laser energy that dissipates any object Magic Lace: Special lace from the store that turns ONLY Kali can use to become invisible.REASON FOR GROUP FORMATION: They despise sexist males and the comments that degrade women. They secretly batter the heads of larger CEO?s into submission, and take over their actions, so that they are nicer to the women in this world. They eventually become an icon women tend to relate as the Feminist Hero in history. TIFA MAC I was born December 27th, 1940 into a world of male chauvinism. My mother was from Alpha Centauri, a lone traveler on a long journey to this melting pot of male domination. She was overwhelmed by the charm of Jack Mac, a burger flipper. They lived in peace until I came along. My memories until the age of 14 are a blur due to my seclusion from society. My only impressions of this world were formed from newspapers and television. I saw a world where women were treated as inferiors. My father growing to hate my mother soon portrayed to me as to what men really were. He hated her for her feminist views and stabbed her in the back with a kitchen knife on the night of my 16th birthday. This was when my powers awoke. My mother had once told me that I was special and one day it?ll all come to me. That same day I began to enact what would become my life time manifestation. REVENGE. My father was my first male object of defeat. His death was a slow and painful one. I soon moved out, took my belongings and moved to Cali, California where I discovered my lone companion Kali, ?The Sabretooth Kitty. After years of thought we began our plan to teach men a lesson. Soon all would succumb to our power, and women would reign supreme. We worked in a fabric store where my dreams became reality. I modified several items with the knowledge of superior technology passed on to me by my mother. Some of these items include, my yardstick, it turns into this bolt of fabric with sewing needles sticking all over it. Another item was ?Da Big Gun?; this was my best invention; it emits this blast of concentrated laser energy that can dissipate any object. There are many more of my inventions, but these are my most favorite ones. Our first big hit was the local newspaper owned by the notorious womanizer, Don Corneo. We took him out and taught him a lesson he?d never forget. He learned never to call my kitty a ?*censored* cat?. He chose my companion and myself as his one and only. But he had no idea what he was buying into this time. I had caught him in one of his deals and luckily for me I had my trusty yardstick in my back pocket. Suddenly, like little needles prickling me in my back I got this impulse to strike Don. ?Boom, whack, plop?, I stuck the old geezer with needle invested yardstick. He fell to the ground like an old oak tree. It was then that my offended companion, Kali, sought her revenge with her treacherous ?Claw if Death?. We then carried him to the local Dumpster and trashed him. No man?s ever going to treat women like that again. The outcome of our out raged was that soon the newspaper?s context began to write about the woman in a whole new light. With our first success under our belt, we continued our string of local shops and media centers. By the 70?s we had taken over southern L.A. The mayor was our puppet. Now, 1999 has arrived. The big hit for 2000 is already in the makings. With Hilary already the President of my fan club, (P.M.S) the presidency was a cake. The object of our last hit would be Bill Gates, the only powerful man still living. He?s the computer mega genius and the most influential left on earth?? Well, we didn?t even have to use our original plan. In a week we learned that our store was going to be turned into a Microsoft warehouse. We decided to hideout until Mr. Gates and his entourage came to inspect and take over my fabric store. The biggest accomplishment of my life had turned into the simplest. I had just finished working on ?Da Big Gun?, the gun that shoots laser energy and dissipates any object into these tiny molecules. When the big day arrived we hid in the warehouse and as he took his first step in I struck. We turned him into molecules with one blast of my gun. Next we over took the most powerful company in the world. This soon became our instrument of developing feminism as the dominant power throughout the world. Go GIRL POWER.

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