CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER1. MARRIAGE CEREMONY IN GREAT BRITAIN
1.1 Wedding Preparations and Forms ofMarriage
1.2 The Ceremony
CHAPTER2. MARRIAGE CEREMONY IN THE USA
2.1American Wedding Traditions
2.2The Ceremony
CONCLUSION
BIBLIOGRAPHY
APPENDIX
INTRODUCTION
Thereare a lot of different customs and traditions in Great Britain and in the USA. Most of them are very beautiful and old. But we study the most old and beautiful inour term paper. In our opinion wedding ceremony is one of the most importanceevents in the life of people, that’s why the theme of our term paper is alwayscurrently central. Also, this theme is of great interest for us, because wewant to know as much as possible about the English speaking countries. Marriagetraditions are changing with the course of time, and in our work we want tofollow up these changes.
Thesubject of our work is the studying of old and new wedding customs andtraditions in Great Britain and the USA.
Theobject of our work is wedding traditions, preparations and main parts ofceremony both in Great Britain and the USA. The objective of our work is tofind similarities and differences between British, American and Russian wedding,describe British and American ceremonies in all their beauty and find out whatparts of ceremonies are going from long-ago and what is new in them.
Toachieve the objective we set the following tasks:
- to carefully study wedding ceremony in Great Britain and in The USA separately and compare them with Russian wedding ceremony;
- to stand out the main parts ofceremonies and describe their characteristic features.
The theme isup-to-date because people are still get married by the old traditions and keepup all the aspects of ceremony.
The theoreticalapplicability is that this work contains detailed descriptions of all the sidesof ceremony, which help us to get to know a lot about this beautiful
ceremony. The practicalapplicability consists in consideration of ceremony as ancient hangover.
The researchnovelty consists in definition of problem and new ways of its solution.
To write this work westudied a question from all sides with particular focus on scientific andhistory literature.
The work consists of 2chapters, items, conclusion and the list of used literature.
Theyare maintained in the belief that they will bring good luck and happiness tothe couple at a time when their lives are changing, hopefully for the better.
Inthe past when the marriage proposal was a more formal procedure, theprospective groom sent his friends or members of his family to represent hisinterests to the prospective bride and her family. If they saw a blind man, amonk or a pregnant woman during their journey it was thought that the marriagewould be doomed if they continued their journey as these sites were thought tobe bad omens.
CHAPTER I. MARRIAGE CEREMONY IN GREAT BRITAIN
wedding tradition british american
1.1 Wedding Preparations and Forms ofMarriage
In Britain the custom of becoming engaged is still generally retained, though many youngpeople dispense with it, and the number of such couples is increasing. As arule, an engagement is announced as soon as a girl has accepted a proposal ofmarriage, but in some cases it is done a good time afterwards. Rules ofetiquette dictate that the girl’s parents should be the first to hear the news;in practice, however, it is often the couple’s friends who are taken intoconfidence before either of the parents. If a man has not yet met his futurein-laws he does so at the first opportunity, whereas his parents usually writethem a friendly letter. It is then up to the girl’s mother to invite herdaughter’s future in-laws to a meal or drinks. Quite often, of course the manhas been a frequent visitor at the girl’s house long before the engagement, andtheir families are already well acquainted.
When a girlaccepts a proposal, the man generally gives her a ring in taken of thebetrothal. It is worn on the third finger of the left hand before marriage andtogether with the wedding ring after it. Engagement rings range from expensivediamond rings to rings with Victorian semi-precious stones costing only a few pounds.In most cases the engagement itself amounts only to announcements being made tothe parents on both sides and to friends and relations, but some people arrangean engagement party, and among the better-off people it is customary to put anannouncement in the newspaper. In the book “Etiquette” the author writes that“as soon as congratulations and the first gaieties of announcement are over, aman should have a talk with the girl’s father about the date of their wedding,where they will live, how well off he is and his future plans and prospects.” Nowadaysthis is often not done, one of the reasons begin that today the young peopleenjoy a greater degree of financial independence than they used to, to be ableto decide these matters for themselves. However, in working class families,where the family ties are still strong and each member of the family is moreeconomically dependent upon the rest, things are rather different. Quite often,particularly in the larger towns the couple will have no option but to liveafter marriage with either the girl’s or the man’s people. Housing shortage in Britain is still acute, and the rents are very high. It is extremely difficult to getunfurnished accommodation, whereas a furnished room, which is easier to getcosts a great deal for rent. In any case, the young couple may prefer to livewith the parents in order to have a chance to save up for things for theirfuture home. But if the young people, particularly those of the higher-paidsection of the population, often make their own decision concerning the weddingand their future, the parents, particularly the girl’s, still play an importantpart in the ensuing activities, as we shall see later.
The period ofengagement is usually short, three or four months, but this is entirely ofchoice and circumstances. As early as the sixteenth, up to the nineteenthcentury, marriages were arranged by parents or guardians. The bride andbridegroom often were not acquainted until their marriage. The parents oftenmade the marriage arrangements and betrothals while the bride and bridegroomwere small children (ages three to seven). The children would continue to livewith their own parents and meet from time to time for meals or holidaycelebrations.
These prearrangedmarriages came under fire in the late seventeenth century when a judge heldthat betrothals and marriages prior the age of seven were «utterlyvoid». However, they would be valid if, after the age of seven, thechildren called each other husband and wife, embraced, kissed each other, gaveand received Gifts of Token. Later, young couples ran away and had a ceremonyprivately performed without banns or license. These elopements and privateceremonies represented the beginning of a revolt against parental control ofmarital selection. The Civil Marriage Act of 1653, passed by the Puritans underCromwell, required a civil ceremony before a justice of the peace afterpresentation of the certificate from the parish register that banns had beenpublished. If either party were under twenty-one, proof of parental consentmust also be presented. The wedding ceremony consisted of a simple formula tobe repeated by the man and woman and was accompanied by hand fastening. The useof a ring was forbidden.
By the HardwickeAct of 1753, all weddings, except members of the royal family, were to beperformed only after publication of banns or issuance of a license, only duringthe morning hours of eight to twelve, only in an Anglican Church or chapel, andonly before an Anglican clergyman. Two or more witnesses were required and aregister must be kept. Parental consent was demanded unless the banns had beenpublished.
The CatholicChurch, in the Council of Trent, restated its position that marriage was one ofthe seven sacraments and therefore could not be dissolved.
Up until theearly 1990's, it was very difficult to get married in Great Britain. If one wishes to marry in England or Wales, they must do so in a church which has aregister, (which is like a special license), and they can do so only in thedistrict (shire) where one of the couple resides. All Church of Englandparishes (Anglican) are automatically registered, regardless of their size. Noblood tests or counseling are required. In England and Wales there are four forms of marriage: by banns, by ordinary licence, by special licence and by aregistrar.Marriage by Banns is the form most usually adopted. Banns must becalled for three consecutive Sundays in the parish churches of both the futurebride and the groom unless they both live in the same parish. They must havebeen resident for at least fifteen days previous to the first publication ofthe banns. There is a small fee for the certificate of banns.
The clergyman atthe church where the marriage is to take place must be notified by letter ofthe couple’s intention to marry, of their names and addresses and how long theyhave resided I their parishes. If one of the parties is a minor, a letter ofconsent must be obtained from the Superintendent Registrar of the district. Ifthe marriage is to take place in the bride’s church, a certificate of callingof the banns must be obtained from the bridegroom’s parish clergyman. Themarriage must then take place within three months of the banns being published.
Marriage byOrdinary Licence is a convenient alternative to the publications of banns. InLondon, application must be made by one party to the Faculty Office, where hewill swear that he does not know of any impediment to the marriage such asbeing legally married to another or consanguineous relationship, and that oneof the parties has live for at least fifteen days in the parish of the churchwhere the marriage is to take place. A licence is valid in England and Wales for three months after the date of issue. Outside London, it can be obtained fromany Bishop’s Registry Office in a cathedral town or from a Superintendentregistrar in the district of residence. The licence is granted without previousnotice and is available as soon as it is issued, but the marriage must takeplace I a church named on the licence. Marriage by Special Licence costs 5pounds and can be obtained only for special reasons such as suddenly being sentabroad. It is never granted lightly. Application must be made in person by oneof the parties at the Faculty Office. The marriage can then take place at anytime and in any place, celebrated by the rites of the church, and residencequalifications are unnecessary.
Marriage by aRegistrar can be celebrated, without any religious ceremony, at a registryoffice. Notice must be given by one of the parties of the intended marriage, ifboth have resided in the district for seven days immediately preceding thenotice. If one has lived in another district, notice must be given to his orher local registrar. The certificate is issued twenty-one days after the noticehas been given. It might be traditional to be a June bride, but marrying inpeak time means fighting to secure must-have bookings before hundreds of otherbrides and grooms. Planning an autumn or winter wedding's a great way ofstanding out from the crowd and carries hidden benefits that'll make you gladyou waited until summer was over. The biggest upside to an off-peak wedding hasto be the cost. You can shave thousands off hotel and function room bills bybooking out of high season, and there's unlikely to be as much competition foryour desired venue as the days grow colder. Suppliers including caterers,photographers and transport specialists often offer similar discounts, so besure to shop around for a good deal.
The sameargument applies to guests, who will be delighted to get an invitation to anevent that doesn't conflict with their summer holiday or other weddings on thesame weekend. And the stunning alternative scenery's a big plus — marryingoutdoors as the trees begin to turn their leaves or against a spectacular snowand frost-covered backdrop will add a fantastic edge to your photos.
Of course, youonly find turning leaves and snow when the weather gets colder, which can makethe idea of a late-season wedding less appealing. If you're still planning tohold an outdoor ceremony, ensure you've organized a contingency venue,preferably nearby, so unpredictable weather conditions don't spoil your plans. Colouris all-important as the days get greyer, so avoid pastel shades when you'replanning your colour scheme. Traditional autumn hues such as deep red, orange,yellow and copper will look gorgeous in flower arrangements, bridesmaids'outfits or as part of your table decoration, while winter whites are well setoff by silver, gold or rich jewel colours like burgundy, dark green or midnightblue.
Summer weddingsmake the most of sunshine and flowers, so it's a good idea to work with whatyou've got around you in terms of decoration. If your chosen autumn venues gota lot of trees, ask the co-ordinator when they're likely to be on the turn(although places famed for their foliage often charge more money for theprivilege.) Have large arrangements of multi-coloured leaves instead offlowers, scatter them over tables, or even try adding a few to your bouquet.
Snow's anincreasingly remote prospect for most of us in winter, but don't ignore yournatural surroundings. Hang swags of greenery along aisles and dust tables withwhite rose petals to imitate the effects of a snowfall. Mistletoe clusters willlook great as decorations — and can be hung in strategic areas for an extrasplash of romance. Since the Civil Partnership Act came into force in December2005, same-sex couples have been allowed to form a legally recognisedpartnership and become 'civil partners', affording them similar legal rights tothose as married couples. In England and Wales there are more than 4 millioncouples co-habiting, and although co-habitees are legally protected in someareas, they are significantly worse off than those who are married or are civilpartners.
Despite thewidely held belief that once a couple have been living together for a number ofyears they become 'common law' husband and wife, more and more people arefinding out to their cost that couples who simply live together have barely anyrights comparable to those who are married or have formed civil partnerships.
Before civilpartnerships came into force there was no way that a same-sex couples couldenjoy similar legal recognition of their relationship in England and Wales. Neither could they have the same protection, benefits and responsibilities asmarried couples — but this all changed on 5 December 2005 when the CivilPartnership Act 2004 became a reality.
So in anutshell, the Civil Partnership Act allows same-sex couples to be legallyrecognised as partners, and affords them equality to heterosexual marriedcouples in terms of legal rights which cover a wide range of areas.
Before a civilpartnership can be formed, the couple involved must notify the registrationauthority of their intention to register a civil partnership. When the noticehas been given, the authority will publicise it for 15 days, after which, thepartnership can be formed at approved premises (including registry offices) in England and Wales.
1.2 The Ceremony
In Scotland people over the age of sixteen do not require their parents consent in order tomarry. Marriage is performed by a minister of any religion after the banns havebeen called on two Sundays in the districts where the couple had lived for atleast fifteen days previously. Weddings may take place in churches or privatehouses.
Alternatively,the couple may give notice to the registrar of the district in which they haveboth lived for fifteen days previously. The registrar will issue a
Certificate ofPublication, which is displayed for seven days, and it will be valid for threemonths in any place in Scotland.
Marriage at aregistry office in Scotland requires a publication of notice for seven days ora sheriff’s licence, as publication of banns is not accepted. Such a licence isimmediately valid but expires after ten days. One of the parties must havelived in Scotland for at least fifteen days before the application, which isoften prepared by a solicitor.
As soon as thewedding date has been decided the couple will think about the kind of weddingthey want. Though comparatively few young people nowadays regularly attendchurch, most girls still dream of a white wedding, with its solemn ceremony,bridesmaids and the rest. There is no equivalent in England of our Palaces ofWeddings, and civic ceremonies in a registry office are very dull. But whatwith the church fees which are extremely high and other extra expenses, a whitewedding costs a great deal of money, so a couple may decide against it on thesegrounds.
There arepractically no special customs attached to weddings at a registry office. Forthese reason attention will be mainly given to church weddings, with theirage-old ritual and customs. However, the reader should bear in mind that by nomeans all the customs concerning the preparation for a wedding or the weddingceremony itself are necessarily maintained, quite often reasons of economy.
The rules arenot absolutely hard and fast, but generally they are the follows.
The Bride’sParents are responsible for the press announcements, the bride’s dress andtrousseau, flowers for the church and members of family.
The bridegroompays for the ring and the wedding licence, fees to the clergyman, the organistand choir, or the awning and anything else directly concerned with the service,although if there are to be order or service, the bride’s parents will havethese printed at the same time as the invitations. He will pay for the bouquetfor his bride and bouquets for the bridesmaids, buttonholes for his best manand ushers and any flowers worn by the bride’s mother and his own mother, ifthey want to wear flowers – many women do not. He pays for the cars which takehimself and the best man to the church and the car in which he and his bridewill drive from the church to the reception. The cost of cars can, however, bedivided between the parents of the bride may wish to pay for it all. This is amatter for mutual arrangement.
The groom isexpected to give a small present to each of the bridesmaids, and such a giftcan range from a piece of jewellery to a beautifully bound book, a powdercompact or any personal and pretty article.
Giving away thebride. The bride’s father given her away or, if he is dead or cannot be presentat the ceremony, his place is taken by her mother or a close relative, or evena great family friend.
The bridesmaidsare usually the sisters, near relatives and close girl friends of the bride,and sisters of the groom. The number is purely a matter of choice but usuallydoes not exceed six. There may be two small page-boys and four grown-up maids,or child attendants only. The bride chooses the material. The custom used to befor the bride’s mother to pay for all the bridesmaids’ dresses, but today theyusually pay for their own. A girl asked to be a bridesmaid can always refusepolitely if she feels she cannot afford such a dress.
There is alwaysa chief bridesmaid who will take the bride’s bouquet during
the ceremony andhand it back to her back before she goes into the vestry to sign the register.
The Best Man isa brother, relative or close friend of the groom, and his main duty, apart fromgiving moral support before the wedding, is to see to the clergyman’s fees, thetips to the vergers and to band the wedding ring to the groom in the church. Heis also responsible for seeing that the bridesmaids are looked after during thereception and he should reply to any toast to the bridesmaids.
The Ushers aremale relatives and friends of both bride and groom. Their duties are to standjust inside the church and ask each guest “bride or groom?” They will placefriends of the bride on the left of the aisle and friends of the groom on theright. The ushers should be at the church at least three-quarters of an hourbefore the ceremony, and may hand out forms of service if these are not beingplaced before every pew.
The bridegroom’sclothes. When the bride is in white, the bridegroom wears morning dress with awhite carnation in his buttonhole (without fern or solver paper).
Widows or Divorcees,when re-marrying, do not wear white, but a short dress or a pretty suit orcoat. They remove their first wedding rings and never wear them again. They donot have bridesmaids or pages.
The parents andclose relatives of the bride and groom arrive a few minutes before the bride.The bridegroom and his best man should be in their places at least ten minutesbefore the service starts. The bridesmaids and pages wait in the church porchwith whoever is to arrange the bride’s veil before she goes up the aisle.
The bride, bytradition, arrives a couple of minutes late but this should not be exaggerated.She arrives with whoever is giving her away. The verger signals to the organistto start playing, and the bride moves up the aisle with her veil over her face(although many brides don’t follow this custom). She goes in on her father’sright arm, and the bridesmaids follow her according to the plan at therehearsal the day before. The bridesmaids and ushers go to their places in thefront pews during the ceremony, except for the chief bridesmaid who usuallystands behind the bride and holds her bouquet.
After theceremony the couple goes unto the vestry to sign the register with theirparents, best man, bridesmaids and perhaps a close relation such as a grandmother.The bride throws back her veil, the verger gives a signal to the organist andthe bride and groom walk down the aisle followed by their parents and those whohave signed the register. The bride’s mother walks down the aisle on the leftarm of the bridegroom’s father and the bridegroom’s mother walks down on theleft arm of the bride’s father. Guests wait until the wedding procession haspassed them before leaving to go on the reception.
The reception.The bride’s parents stand first in the receiving line, followed by the groom’sparents and the bride and the groom. Guests line up outside the reception roomand give their names to the major-domo who will announce them. They need onlyshake hands and say ‘How do you do?” to the parents, adding perhaps a wordabout how lovely the bride is or how well the ceremony went. The brideintroduces to the husband any friends that he may not already know, and viceversa.
The importantparts of the reception are the cutting of the cake and the toast
for the bride andgroom. There should never be any long speeches. When all the guests have beenreceived the major-domo requests silence and the bride cuts the cake, with herhusband’s hand upon hers.
The toast to thebride and groom is usually proposed by a relative or friend of the bride. heshould not make a speech full of jokes or silly references to marriage. Itshould be short and dignified. The bridegroom replies with a few words ofthanks. He may or may not then propose the health of the bridesmaids. The bestman replies with a few words of thanks. If a meal is provided, the toasts maycome at the end of it. After the toasts the bride and groom may move around theroom talking to their friends until it is time for them to go and change. Whenthey are ready to leave, guests gather to see them off. Wedding presents. Canbe anything, according to your pocket and your friendship with the bride orgroom. Such presents are usually fairly substantial compared with most otherpresents, and should preferably be things useful for a future home. Some brideshave lists at a large store near their homes. It is always wise to ask is thereis one, as this eliminates your sending something the couple may have already.The list should contain items of all prices and when one is bought it iscrossed off. A wedding is one of the few occasions when money can be given,usually as a cheque. Presents are sent after the invitations have beenreceived, usually to the bride’s home. You address the card to both the brideand bridegroom. After studying this chapter we can make the followingconclusions. Wedding in Great Britain is one of the oldest customs. There are alot of different types of marriage. Some of them require a licence. Thepreparations usually begin the two months before the wedding. The ceremonyitself is always well-organized. Every participant of the ceremony plays his orher important role. After the ceremony newlyweds get a marriage certificate.
CHAPTER II.MARRIAGE CEREMONY IN THE USA
2.1 Americanwedding traditions
The American ceremony is probably the most well-known in theworld. Although these days there are quite a number of unique weddingceremonies taking place. Today you are allowed to get married in an airplane orin a drive-in movie theatre, all you need is somebody to marry other peoplewill take care of the rest. Money is either very important or not important atall. In Las Vegas there are marriage ceremonies performed for only twentydollars, but a wedding ceremony could also be the most expensive occasion intwo people's lives. The tradition in the USA is different from The Church ofEngland, in the wedding ring ceremony. Instead of just putting a ring on thewoman's finger the groom also gets a ring.
Mostweddings in the United States follow asimilar pattern to the Italian wedding. Customs and traditions vary, but commoncomponents are listed below.
An Americanwedding is typically a happy, joyous occasion for all people of allbackgrounds. American wedding traditions really vary from one religion orculture to another, but in American wedding tradition it's a happy time and thelife of the new bride and groom is toasted and celebrated as they cometogether.
Every Americanwedding has subtle traditional elements, but there are no really strictguidelines that we follow when planning our big day. Over the last ten years,wedding etiquette has really relaxed and American wedding traditions havebecome a lot more liberal. This new liberal outlook has enabled couples tomarry in a style that they are comfortable with, instead of the sometimes rigidstandards that some used to associate with American wedding tradition.
One Americanwedding tradition is still the white dress for the bride. Brides only used towear white if she was still a virgin and it was her first wedding. Americantradition now dictates that any bride can wear white proudly, even though thesecond weddings tend to be a little bit less formal. The white dress reallyseals the deal though, and most women choose to wear it.
Another Americanwedding tradition is to have the ceremony in a church or place of worship.Those that don't have the ceremony in a place of worship usually have a memberof the church clergy marry them in another location such as outdoors themountains. The majority of people still get married in a place of worship,involving faith in their union, even with less rigid etiquette.
One great followup to an American wedding is a reception or big party celebrating the bride andgroom. The reception usually includes a meal, dancing, and mingling amongfriends and family of both the bride and the groom. A reception really is agreat way to get everyone together as the two families really sort of merges asa result of the wedding. Receptions are often the most anticipated event whenplanning the wedding because there is so much to plan for.
Following anAmerican wedding and reception it's a tradition for the bride and the groom togo on a honeymoon or vacation. The honeymoon was originally done for the brideand the groom to go away and enjoy the company of one another with chaperonesfor the first time, and even consummate their marriage. Now, it's more about gettingaway and just enjoying one another for the first time. A honeymoon gives a newhusband and wife the chance to dote on each other with no distractions to sortof nurture the new union.
An Americanwedding has really morphed into a wedding of personal preference. Couples arefree to plan a wedding and join in matrimony as they please and when theyplease. As long as there is a wedding certificate, all is legal, and everythingelse is up to them. Unlike many other cultures, there are no rigid guidelines orlaws about marriage.
In America all you have to do is love someone, and you can marry him or her. And really,what's better than being free to marry and love whom you wish to? Just one morereason for America is so great. Initially Bridal Shower proposed to brace thefriendships between the bride and her female friends. In the 1890s it evolvedinto an event for friends to present the bride-to-be with small gifts. Thegifts were placed in a parasol, which was released above the brides head,allowing the gifts to «shower» down on her.
Again BridalParty tradition commenced from the Anglo-Saxon custom of a groom using«Brides knights» to make certain that the bride head for the ceremonyand then back to her husband's home without being attacked and the dowrystolen. Now bridal party is all about celebration and enjoyment.
Even today it ismandatory for every American bride to be to wear a Veil. Traditionally it meantthat the broom didn't see the bride until the wedding ceremony. It was thoughtthat if the broom had seen the bride before the ceremony was over and didn'tlike her, he might refuse to get married. So the veil was not lifted untilafter the ceremony and this is functional even today in modern Americanwedding. Traditional American weddings are organized in a place of worship likein a church, where family and friends assemble. Here comes the best man, flowergirls, exchanging vows and rings, and the wedding music. The wedding ceremonyis conducted by the priest. He formally asks the invitees whether they have anyobjection for this marriage and getting the positive response from the inviteesthe priest asks the couple to exchange wedding rings and then the couple ismarked as husband and wife. Traditionally the newlyweds kiss to seal theirunion; this is the concept of Kissing the bride.
The groom's Cakeis cut post wedding a piece of the cake is distributed amongst each guest as amemento of the wedding. The belief goes that if a woman
slept with apiece of the groom's cake under her pillow, she would dream about the man shewould marry. Honeymoon meant the newly married couples to drinks a fermentedwine made from mead and honey for a month (moon) following their wedding. Nowit’s all about going for a month long vacation and spending time with eachother. As the couple leaves the church, they are showered with rice or wheatwhich is recognized as the symbols of fertility. Then the couple organizes areception party where all family members and friends of two families dine,enjoy and makes merry. Another American Wedding tradition is to collect moneyin a wedding wheel for honeymoon from the guests. The guests form two lines,and they pay a dollar or more to dance with the newlyweds.
An Americanwedding does not follow any rigid customs; it is more of wedding of personalpreference. It is mandatory to have a wedding certificate and everything elseis up to the couples. The usual attire since ancient times is a white prettygown for brides and black or blue suit for grooms, this tradition is followedreligiously in America.
The host sends invitations to the wedding guests, usually one to twomonths before the wedding. Invitations may most formally be addressed by handto show the importance and personal meaning of the occasion. Large numbers ofinvitations may be mechanically reproduced. As engravingwas the highest quality printing technology available in the past, thishas become associated with wedding invitation tradition. Receiving aninvitation does not impose any obligation on the invitee other than promptlyaccepting or declining the invitation, and offering congratulations to thecouple.
While giving anygift to the newlywed couple is technically optional, nearly all invited guestswho attend the wedding choose to do so. Wedding gifts are most commonly sent tothe bride's or host's home before the wedding day. Gifts are typically notbrought to ceremonies or receptions, and any that are will not be opened, butrather placed aside for later delivery to the newlyweds' home.
A color schemeis selected by some to match everything from bridesmaids' dresses, flowers,invitations, and decorations, though there is no necessity in doing so.Weddingpreparations can be overwhelming and endless it seems. Many brides and groomsby their side have had a meltdown prior to the wedding. If you can relate, youare not alone.
Be encouragedand take heart. Fear not! The best is yet to come. It has been
said thatmarriage is like making mashed potatoes. First, you peel the potatoes.Secondly, you place them in hot water to boil. Thirdly, you mash them all uptogether until they become one.
Maybe you arepresently being peeled by life's circumstances and wedding preparations up toyour eyeballs. Perhaps you are now boiling in hot water and undergoing someemotional stress. Relationally we are all being brought closer together andsmoothing out one another's rough edges. The process however can be likecrushing grapes to make wine. Nevertheless remember how delicious andintoxicating the wine can be once the grapes are crushed.
Life and loveflows in seasons and stages. There are many circular parallels between natureand life itself. Perhaps you are currently enduring the winter season of yourrelationship and engagement. Realize your love has not died, but rather itsroots are going deep and your love's foundation being strengthened. Commitmentsurpasses romantic notions and fluctuating feelings. Often love is more of adecision than a feeling. Death and life are always occurring simultaneously.Marital love that lasts a lifetime requires that we welcome and embrace a moreintense type of relational interaction as we become one. That means you bothmust be committed to personal growth individually and together. Therefore whensome things are identified as harmful to your marriage, you need to humblyrepent of them and be willing to die to them. As you die to deadly habits andrefine your character, you will resurrect and breathe fresh life into yourmarriage. The more you die to self, the more you together as one shall love andlive.
The bride andgroom to be prepared four months for this day collecting wedding invitationsand wedding cards from past weddings that they were able to attend. The couplechecked and talked about their collection. Then they hired a weddingcoordinator also who will then set up everything. Right after, the couple haveinformed them of the desired appearance and them of their wedding and alsoasked for inputs and suggestions.
From thediscussions they had with the wedding coordinator, they decided to purchase andchoose well the wedding stationery to write on their invitations, program, vowsand every little good thing that need to be put on writing. The weddinginvitations and weddings cards were be prepared first before anything else.Deciding on the wedding’s theme was quite difficult. It lasted for days tofinally come up with a final color then the stationery’s look was based on thisdecision.
The weddinginvitations and wedding cards were colored white with red accent. The bridechose that because according to her, white is the symbol for purity while redsymbolized their love for each other. They also had their wedding invitationsand wedding cards embossed with two doves inside a big heart, which signifiedthat the two of them were joined as one because of love.
Aside from thetwo doves inside a big heart, the wedding invitations and wedding cards werealso scented. The couple said that the scent would make it more elegant andpresentable. The couple had laid their hands on every detail of the preparationbecause they wanted to make sure that everything went with what was planned andevery guest would feel very special. Moreover, wedding invitations and weddingcards were personally delivered by the two lovebirds for they wanted to makesure that the invitations were directly given to the people they invited fortheir wedding. Then the lovely couple were very much excited and prepared reallyhard for this day to arrive. And my wish for them is that, just like thefairytales we’ve read, may they live happily ever after and love each other forthe rest of their lives.
Wedding party isnot the party you have where you drink and have fun. A wedding party is a groupof people involved in your wedding preparations, people you can count on forhelp and not just to look good by your side during the wedding. They consist ofa Maid of Honour, Best Man, Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. I could have an entire groupof ten girls as my bridesmaid and Josiah could have ten groomsmen, but really –do we need all of them? If we were to measure friendship or closeness withthat, we could have over 50 bridesmaid and groomsmen. So, the question is – howdo we determine who is to be of what role?
A Maid ofHonour’s role is to help the bride out in times of need, help with
planning andcoordination, ensure that the bride is not stressed out. My initial perceptionof a Maid of Honour (MOH) is one that would help with the make-up and ensuringthat I feel good and calm down during the wedding dinner, boy was I wrong. AMOH is an all rounder and does not emit stress so things would run smoothly onthe day itself. I chose Amber, whereas Josiah chose his brother Johansen as hisone and only Best Man who doubled up as Groomsmen. I had my sister in lawJoyalene as my bridesmaid and my married sister loosely known as bridesmaid asshe was married – I didn’t know if she was allowed to be one. My brother in lawKelvin was also loosely known as groomsmen that night for helping out at thereception with my sister and facilitation of guests.
Selecting thewedding party could be tedious at some point. You may want to appoint your bestbuddy as the Maid of Honour and Best Man (BM). Preferably someone who has seenyou grow up, not necessarily friends who have known you for less than a year,because it surely doesn’t beat a person who knows you inside out. You need toidentify the strengths of your MOH / BM. He or she may be good at work or couldbe a great friend but may suck at wedding planning, or it could be the otherway around, or both. Josiah and I were lucky to have an all-rounder weddingparty. Dealing with the wedding party requires a lot of trust and patience onyour end. You just have to let go when the time comes and leave it all to theirhands. Be alert at all times if you foresee anything that could possibly gowrong. Listen to advices from your family members and friends on all mattersincluding your selection of wedding party. You can’t let one person ruin yourwedding dinner. If you see a potential for that, quickly remedy it before timeruns out. Your wedding party should not be more concerned about themselvesbefore you for that special day. You as the wedding couple should always takegood care of their welfare, ensure they have food, look good effortlessly andmost importantly have fun. More importantly, a wedding party is to make youboth look good with them keeping their decency. If they embarrass you at anypoint, it becomes your mistake, not theirs.
Registration ofMarriage This process is rather simple. First, Josiah and I went to JabatanPendaftaran Negara (JPN) at Taman Maluri, Cheras at 8.30 a.m., based on ourboth IC addresses that are located within Kuala Lumpur. I heard that if yourspouse’s IC address is in another state, you may have to register in thatstate. I think it cost us something like RM 10.00 to register. We providedcopies of our identification cards and passport photos. It was a short process.They gave us a few dates two months after our application on three daysavailable and we chose a Friday.
2.2 The Ceremony
A weddingceremony may take place anywhere, but often a church, courthouse, or outdoor venue. The ceremonyis usually brief, and is may be
dictated by thecouple's religious practices. The most common non-religious form is
derived from asimple Anglican ceremony in the Book of Common Prayer.
The brideusually wears a white, off-white, silver, or other very light-colored dress,particularly at her first marriage. Brides may choose any color, although blackis strongly discouraged by some as it is the color of mourning in the west. Thewedding party may form a receiving line at this point, or later at a reception,so that each guest may greet the entire wedding party. At the wedding receptiondrinks, snacks, (or often a full meal at long receptions) are served while theguests and wedding party mingle. Often the best man and/or maid of honor toastthe newlyweds with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes; sometimes otherguests follow with their own toasts. Champagne is usually provided for thispurpose. In a symbolic cutting of the wedding cake, the couple may jointly holda cake knife and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake, which they feed toeach other. In some sub-cultures, they may deliberately smear cake on eachother's faces, which is considered vulgar elsewhere. If dancing is offered, thenewlyweds first dance together briefly. Often a further protocol is followed,wherein each dances next with a parent, and then possibly with other members ofthe wedding party. Special songs are chosen by the couple, particularly for amother/son dance and a father/daughter dance. In some subcultures, a dollar dance takes place in which guests are expected todance with the one of the newlyweds, and give them a small amount of cash. Thispractice, as is any suggestion that the guests owe money to the couple, isconsidered rude in most social groups as it is contrary to basic westernetiquette.
In themid-twentieth century it became common for a bride to toss her bouquet over hershoulder to the assembled unmarried women during the reception. The woman whocatches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry. In a similarprocess, her groom tosses the bride's garter to the unmarried men, followed bythe man who caught the garter placing it on the leg of the woman who caught thebouquet. While still common in many circles, these practices (particularly thelatter) are falling into less favor in the 21st century.
A civil ceremonycan take place at a Register Office or other premises approved by the localauthority for marriages (a hotel or stately home for example). For a marriagein approved premises, you will need to make your arrangements at the venue inquestion before booking the registrar and giving your notices of marriage.There are fees (which are set by individual authorities) payable for thisoption. If you would like your marriage at a register office, you should firstcontact the Superintendent Registrar of the district where you wish to marry.Once you have booked your ceremony at either the register office or otherpremises, you will need to give a formal notice of your marriage to theSuperintendent Registrar of the district(s) where you live. A fee is payablefor giving each notice of marriage.
If you wish tobe married in the Church of England or Church of Wales you should first speakto the vicar to arrange your ceremony. Ordinarily you are not required to givenotice of marriage to a superintendent registrar at the register office unlessthe vicar specifically requests you to do so in writing.
If you wish tomarry by religious ceremony other than in the Church of England or Church of Wales you should first arrange to see the Minister or other person in charge ofmarriages at the building to arrange your ceremony. However, the Church orreligious building in question must normally be in the registration districtwhere you or your partner live. Once you have booked your ceremony, it willalso be necessary to give formal notice of your marriage to the SuperintendentRegistrar of the district(s) where you live. A fee is payable for giving eachnotice of marriage. You may also need to book a Registrar if the church doesnot have an authorised person to register the marriage or that person isunavailable.
The state of matrimony, asunderstood by us, is a state ennobled and enriched by a long and honorabletradition of devotion, set in the basis of the law of the land, assuring eachparticipant’s equality before the law, and supporting the common rights of eachparty to the marriage. There is assumed to be a desire for a life-longcompanionship, and a generous sharing of the help and comfort that husband andwife ought to have from each other, through whatever circumstances of sicknessor health, joy or sorrow, prosperity or adversity, the lives of these partiesmay experience. Marriage is therefore not to be entered upon thoughtlessly orirresponsibly, but with a due and serious understanding and appreciation of theends for which it is undertaken, and of the material, intellectual andemotional factors which will govern its fulfillment. It is by its nature astate or giving rather than taking, of offering rather than receiving, formarriage requires the giving of one’s self to support the marriage and the homein which it may flourish.
It is into thishigh and serious state that these two persons desire to unite.
There are manyfactors which determine the validity of a marriage. Assuming, though, that thenotary public is duly appointed and commissioned at the time of the ceremony,that both the bride and the groom are qualified to be joined in marriage, thatthe couple have obtained the required marriage license, and that the marriageceremony is performed in Florida, the marriage would be «legal andbinding.» Florida law will presume a marriage to be legal until otherwiseshown. An attorney may be able to provide more specific information, ifrequired.
A notary publicor other authorized person may not perform a marriage ceremony without amarriage license issued in accordance with the requirements set forth inChapter 741 of the Florida Statutes. Florida law further provides that amarriage license may not be issued unless:
Completing themarriage certificate portion of the marriage record is not the same act asperforming the marriage ceremony. Actually, the certificate is the notary's wayof certifying that he or she performed the ceremony. A notary should notfalsely certify that a ceremony was performed when, in fact, one had not been.
The ceremonydoes not have to be in any particular form. Any form of ceremony to solemnize amarriage that the parties choose ordinarily suffices, so long as there is anagreement by words of present assent. The words used or the ceremony performedare mere evidence of a present intention and agreement of the parties. Amarriage ceremony is usually performed for the sake of notoriety and certaintyand must be conducted by a person authorized by law to perform the ceremony.
Thepurpose of inviting guests is to have them witness a couple's marriage ceremonyand vows and to share in their joy and celebration. Gifts for the weddingcouple are optional, although most guests attempt to give at least a token giftof their best wishes. Some couples and families feel, contrary to properetiquette, that in return for the expense they put into entertaining andfeeding their guests, the guests should pay them with similarly expensive giftsor cash.
Thecouple often registers for gifts at a store well in advance of theirwedding. This allows them to create a list of household items, usuallyincluding china, silverware and crystal ware, linens or other fabrics, pots andpans, etc. Registries are intended to aid guests inselecting gifts the newlyweds truly want, and the service is sufficientlyprofitable that most retailers, from luxury shops to discount stores, offer theopportunity. Registry information should, according to etiquette, be providedonly to guests upon direct request, and never included in the invitation. Some couples additionally or insteadregister with services that enable money gifts intended to fund items such as a honeymoon, homepurchase or college fund. Some find bridal registries inappropriate as theycontravene traditional notions behind gifts, such as that all gifts areoptional and delightful surprises personally chosen by the giver, and that registrieslead to a type of price-based competition, as the couple knows the cost of eachgift. Traditionally, weddings were considered a personal event and invitingpeople to the wedding who are not known to at least one member of the couplewell enough to be able to choose an appropriate gift was consideredinappropriate, and registries should therefore be unnecessary. Whether considered appropriate or not,others believe that weddings are opportunities to extract funds or specificgifts from as many people as possible, and that even an invitation carries anexpectation of monetary reward rather than merely congratulations.
Lettersof thanks for any gift are traditionally sent promptly after the gift'sreceipt. Tradition allows wedding gifts to be sent up to a year after thewedding date. Thanks should be sent as soon as possible, preferably within twoweeks.
Afterthe second chapter we can make the following conclusions.
TheAmerican wedding ceremony is well-known in the world. Its traditions are not sostrict as British. Americans can marry in the church or at a Register office.Usually the ceremony is brief. After the ceremony the marriage certificate isalso given. Actually, the certificate is the notary's way of certifying that heor she performed the ceremony.
CONCLUSION
Inour course paper we dealt with two different types of marriage in two differentcountries. We got to know how is the preparation going on and what the ceremonyitself represents. We viewed all the main traditions of this custom both in Britain and America, compared them, found some differences and similarities.
Wedetermined the main objects of the work and developed the tasks of subject.
Inthe first chapter we told about the marriage ceremony in Britain, have characterized it’s essential parts and necessary things. The first part of preparationfor marriage is engagement. The groom should get an acquaintance with thebride’s parents and make a good impression on them. After the agreement themain preparation begins. In Britain there are a lot of different types ofmarriage. Some of them need marriage licence. And after the ceremony newlywedsget marriage certificate. Also we described participants of marriage ceremonyand their responsibilities. In the second chapter we told about Americanwedding traditions. We carefully studied the oldest traditions and comparedthem with nowadays wedding. We also observed preparations and the main subjectsof ceremony.
Consequentlywe solved problems and objects of our work and developed the main ideas andaims of task. That’s why we can say that wedding is a very important custom inhuman life. Wedding is the most beautiful and happy holiday. It is full of loveand hopes. After finishing our work we know everything about wedding traditionsand customs^ what is the engagement, how are the preparations going on and whatparts the ceremony consists of.
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